Bildo and Lindalin

3 min read

Code Red: Surviving That Time of the Month

With only four weeks in a month, women experience approximately one good one, without any acne or hormonal rages or bleeding profusely.

That’s right, today we’re talking about periods!

Men, don’t you dare log off! You need to know what we go through for approximately 40 years of our lives, almost every single month.

Is this going to last forever?

I remember when I was 13 and got my first period. I actually don’t remember my first one as such, I remember my second one. I remember thinking “but it only finished a few weeks ago, how is it back already?!”

I remember thinking – is this going to happen for the rest of my life, every month?

Yes. The answer is yes.

At least till I’m 60 or so.

Thankfully Lindalinis MUCH closer to this than I am. We may be doing a menopause episode earlier than expected…

But every month, us women go through a roller coaster of feelings, emotions, skin inflammations, sweaty crotch or butt sweats; all for the sake of being fertile and contributing to society and human-hood.

So it’s only fair that we talk about our periods and complain about them. And for all the men rolling their eyes and thinking “just deal with it,” when you start bleeding from your dick once a month and having to find the perfect fit tampon, come and talk to us then.

When Aunt Flo arrives…

Every woman is different. I, personally, am only normal during my actual period and those few days before and after. The rest of the time, I’m either raging or breaking out.

Lindalin’s periods are regular af, coming 28 or so days on the dot and she describes them as cruisy. But that also means that her PMS is rather punctual and when her Husband picks up on it, he’s not shy about calling it out.

NOTE TO MEN: Don’t do that.

Period Catching Devices

Also known as Feminine Hygiene Products, in episode #45 of Wine Chats Podcast, we discussed the period catching devices we’ve tried (aside from your everyday pads and tampons).

JuJu No-No

Years ago, for environmenta l and convenience reasons, I tried using the JuJu Menstrual Cup, a cup that is inserted like a tampon to, literally, catch the period coming out.

Image Credit: Choice

Except it’s not a tampon – it’s a fucking cup.

Inserting it was uncomfortable and when it leaked at work, I had to try and pull it out without spilling blood all over myself and the work toilet. Let’s just say that it was not something I continued using after a couple of periods of trying and failing.

Period Undies

For research purposes (we are a factual podcast after all) Lindalin purchased a couple of pairs of Love Luna period briefs before we recorded our episode. She can confirm that period undies are a fantastic option for the end days of your period, where you shouldn’t have to use pads or tampons for a light flow or spotting.

Image Credit: Love Luna

She did wear them during a heavy flow period and the good news is that they didn’t leak – but for women who are used to tampons, you won’t like the squishing and flowing going on.

My biggest concern was washing them, because period undies in a regular wash grosses me out – but having a look at their website, you can purchase bundles that include a wash bag – thanks #LoveLuna!

Applicator Tampons

If you haven’t discovered applicator tampons yet, we are about to blow your mind.

I can’t really explain it any better than tampons that you insert with the applicator instead of, you know, digitally. So no more messy fingers!

Image Credit: LifeHacker

Australia is only now catching up with Canada, who are an extremely advanced period nation, offering applicators for their women for decades. This may be the reason that Lindalin is so picky with her applicators.

But Australia’s choices are on the up and we now have Libra and Tampax Pearl who produce tampons with plastic applicators – and I can vouch for both of those brands!

Sorry not Sorry

We won’t apologise for grossing you out and making you read this – we make no apologies for talking about something that at least half of the world’s population deals with monthly.

Our apologies are directed at our husbands and children for the changing mood swings, general mean-ness and the fact that there is really only one normal week where they could possibly have wives that aren’t lunatics.

But that’s the price you pay when you’re in a relationship with amazing women like us.

Thank you for reading and remember – don’t be a dick!

B&L

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Episode #45 of Wine Chats with Bildo & Lindalin was proudly sponsored by Taylors Wines.