Ahh, young love, The can’t eat, can’t sleep, over the fence, world series kind of stuff…
This week on the podcast, Lindalin and I discussed the feelings of new love that we will never again have.
And I miss it. I miss the idea that I will never experience it again. It’s a real case of FOMO.
I’m not gonna lie – I have watched Twilight a million times. I love revisiting the first movie, bad as it is, to feel that developing love again, the butterflies I get over Bella and Edward touching for the first time, breathing each other in for the first time.
Granted, he wanted to eat her, but the point is – he didn’t.
Because he loved her. And you don’t eat people you love.
Oh, the butterflies!
It’s those butterflies I miss, the excitement of a new relationship. Not the first time you have sex with someone – that’s almost always awkward – but definitely the second or third time you get it on.
Waiting for your parents to go to sleep so you can rip each others clothes off; not bothering to pretend you want to finish the movie you’re both watching before you get it on in the TV lit bedroom; driving home after your date, the anticipation over that goodbye kiss building…
Staying up all night, chatting and banging, even when you have work at 6am – like Lindalin and her Husband did early on in their relationship…
That’s where it’s at.
“Enjoy it while it lasts!”
How many newly wed couples have promised that they will never end up in a passion-less marriage? Or a sex-less marriage, with more dry spells than you can fathom? How many of us were warned that one day, we’ll end up just like everyone else, too busy for each other?
I know I was warned. And I know I always promised that that would never be us. Why would it be? I love this man, I am marrying him. I’ve been with him for a decade and I still adore him, why would that change?
Kids. Career. Stability. Stagnancy.
All of the above. You name it, almost every marriage will experience it.
And I suddenly know exactly why couples would role-play in smokey cafes, pretending that they are spies for the CIA and KGB respectively, before heading to their pre-planned rental to enjoy each other.
Because after years of being married and sleeping next to the same person – you need more.
It’s the newness, the danger of the situation. Because after years of being married and sleeping next to the same person – you need more. You need excitement. Sure, you can starfish or just lie on your side reading a book while your husband does his thing – but just because you can, really doesn’t mean you should.
Don’t get me wrong…
I don’t want to meet someone new. Lindalin and I are both happily married, we are both in the kind of relationships that you hope for when you start something new.
And it’s not a simple case of breaking up and starting something else with someone else. Now there would be kids and ex-husbands and co-parenting arrangements that would need to be discussed – no thanks.
It will never be simple again. We can never have that new love without the baggage of our past.
Regaining the love
Whatever way you have of regaining that newness, that excitement, that passion for each other – go for it.
Don’t fall into the trap of divorcing so you can upgrade, just to be in the same position three years down the track with that someone new. If I were married to Edward, I think I’d be starfishing 10 years in, regardless of that amazing hair and pale, sexy body…
Much to Lindalin’s disgust, I cannot wait to get myself and the Husband to a tantric sex class when we’re retired. Maybe even sooner! Say what you want but staring at each other, breathing a bunch and getting off? Sounds like the ultimate sex!
Meanwhile, in episode #46, we featured a Croatian wine, Kutjevo Graševina ‘Kvalitetno Suho Vino’ (Quality Dry Wine) 2017, which made us a little loopy. So hope you enjoyed the episode and watch out for them foreign wines, they are dangerous! No wonder it suggested we should drink it with pastry…
Listen, follow and subscribe to Wine Chats with Bildo & Lindalin where ever you listen to your favourite podcasts!
Love to you all, the tantric kind, and remember – don’t be a dick!
Episode #46 of Wine Chats with Bildo & Lindalin was proudly sponsored by Sense of Taste.