Are you ready for Beach Bod Season? Because Lindalin and I are NOT!
This week on the podcast, we discuss the approaching Aussie summer season (this includes spring in Queensland) as we get ready to show off our beach bods, with Lindalin relishing in her new swimwear while I start the season with a KICK!
To cake or not to cake
First of all, let’s acknowledge that as much as Lindalin and I may complain about our beach bodies, or lack there of, we are obviously not too serious about it considering the cake and tea I’ve been eating at 9pm during the week while my family sleeps. Soz not soz.
But with the cooler seasons behind us, it’s time to dust off our shorts and bikini’s and get ready for the summer season!
The thing is – I’m not ready. Linny has stayed on the Pilates train during winter, whereas I’ve allowed myself to hibernate inside my house, in my house-coat, during the entire winter period.
But I have a secret.
Oh yes I certainly do…
What’s my secret?
Why, Muay Thai of course!
I’m not a gym gal, I can’t go and do weights by myself or run on a treadmill. I just want to show up, have a trainer tell me what to do, and then do it.
After being inspired by a street sign in my area to try out boxing, that particular Google search took me down the Muay Thai path and here we are.
You see, I’m realistic. I know that I’m never going to work out at home by myself, I know I’ll never push myself as hard as someone who yells at me to drop and give ’em 20.
This is why I don’t own a skipping rope.
The Story of the Skipping Rope That Never Did Skip
How many of you have bought a skipping rope from Kmart with grand delusions that you’ll be exercising by yourself at home?
We know you’re out there and we also know that once you bought that skipping rope, you genuinely thought that you would skip by yourself for 5 minutes a day to start, and then grow it from there.
But because we know all that, we also know that every time you thought to yourself “I should do some skipping,” your next thought was “But I can’t skip in this bra, I need to change” and then you got distracted by something much more important, which is pretty much anything else, and so that’s the story of the skipping rope that never did skip.
We know all this because this is the story of Lindalin’s rope. In order to up her game a little bit by including skipping in her exercise routine, she planned to do some skipping after she got home from her reformer Pilates class and while she’s still got her gym bra on.
But then she would get home and think to herself “I’ve already exercised, why do more?” and so the story of the skipping rope that never did skip, continues.
Swimming into the season
Are we all aware of Lindalin’s gut problem? What she calls her mum pouch?
You probably think I’m being mean by downplaying her body insecurities, but you don’t get it – she’s been complaining about this pouch the entire time I’ve known her. This thing is only existent in her mind!
Which is everybody’s body insecurities, I guess.
Which also means we should all just not complain about things that only we see, but that’s easier said than done.
Back to Lindalin’s pouch.
The swimmers she’s been wearing for the past few years is what she refers to as her ‘Target Mum Bathing Suit’ but according to her, that’s for mums. Back in the good old days, she was a little bit stylish and she would like to bring that back.
Fuck the mum bathing suit.Lindalin’s exact words, 22:51 – Ep. 68
On the hunt and ready to find the perfect new swimmers, she took a chance and ordered online from Tacoola which is the right type of fashionable for our sweet Linny.
Thankfully her new bathing suit was a perfect fit, if a little unsupportive in the bust area, but she had a solution for that too by inserting a pair of endlessly available chicken fillets every woman possesses in her underwear drawer.
But I mean, we know that the moral of the story here is that it doesn’t matter whether you think you’re ready for the beach or not – just get out there and enjoy if you can (#covidsafe)!
Love thyself, yo’!’
With that in mind, peace out and remember – don’t be a dick!
Here is Linny’s review of COLAB AND BLOOM’s – 𝐹𝓁𝑒𝓊𝓇𝒾𝑒𝓊 𝒯𝑒𝓂𝓅𝓇𝒶𝓃𝒾𝓁𝓁𝑜 𝟤𝟢𝟣𝟫
Love, wine and sexy bikini’s,