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This week on Wine Chats, Lindalin and I thought it would be a great idea to recount the most embarrassing moments of our lives.
Before we dig in and bare our souls, I would like for you to think of the most cringe-worthy story about yourself.
Keep that in mind as you read on.
Sexy Mole Check
Lindalin started out Episode #49 lying.
She said that she didn’t really have any embarrassing stories to tell.
She lied. But you’ll have to listen to our episode to find out all the juicy details because some stories are too embarrassing for (written) words.
To be fair, her first story isn’t that embarrassing. If anything, I think she should have grabbed life – or her mole check doctor – by the balls…
It all started during her regular appointment. If you’ve never been checked for scary moles, you must strip down to your underwear and have your body examined in extremely close proximity.
As Lindalin is waiting for her appointment, checking out the sexy doctor that she was hoping wouldn’t be the one to examine her – well, we all know how this story ends.
Of course Dr. Sexy was examining her!
And she got so flustered during her examination, she couldn’t speak right. Then, making things worse, she broke out in a rash of shame as the doctor was up close and personal with her stomach moles.
I would have flaunted it, but not our sweet Linny.
My first embarrassing story takes place at our old work.
One fine Friday evening, I was finishing up work and getting ready to go out for some drinks with my co-workers. This was at the time we had just started Wine Chats and I was busy upgrading my look – new shoes, new outfits, new red lipstick – that kind of thing.
As I finish my outfit by changing my work shoes into my gorgeous new wedges, I am mighty impressed with myself and the look I’ve put together.
Heading to the elevator, I come across the alpha-male of the office – a real dude’s dude, you know? I had a falling out with said alpha years back, and although things were cordial, they were by no means friendly.
So imagine my surprise when, as we enter the elevator together, he says to me “Nice shoes.”
I am STOKED!
I am so surprised that he would have noticed my new wedges and more so that he would take the opportunity to tell me and I think to myself, look how far we’ve come!
As I say “Oh, thanks!” I do so at the exact same time as one of our coworkers who also gets in the elevator.
Because he wasn’t talking to me.
He was talking to her.
Did I want to open the elevator trapdoor and jump?
A Stairway to Embarrassment
I don’t know if you know this, but 23 and a half years ago, Lindalin graduated from a small college in Barrie, Canada, with an Advertising Diploma.
Her next story takes place when straight out of college, she lands a great media job with Maple Leaf Foods.
Following an evening out with her boss, wearing her finest tight skirt – she describes them leaving the venue and walking down a huge set of stairs.
Here’s what happened, in her own words…
I fucking fell down the stairs.
Not just wobbled on your ankle and caught yourself – fucking fell! In this short little skirt. It was a proper fall, not a trip, not a stubble – fell.
I was properly mortified.
What’s worse, she remembers her boss being embarrassed too.
Like – what’s he got to be embarrassed about?!
This is the point where I will encourage you to listen to episode #49 for all the gross details of our last stories, because frankly I’m embarrassed to have told you this much!
But I will say this – if accidental pooping has happened to me, if it’s happened to Lindalin, and if it happened to Lillian (Maya Rudolph) in the movie Bridesmaids – you know, the scene in the street with the wedding dress – then it’s probably happened to plenty of people!
Because everybody poops! Usually not in public, but some things can’t be avoided…
Don’t Judge Us!
Thanks for reading and listening and don’t judge us too harshly. But by all means, laugh away at our misfortunes!
Please go check out our podcast, Wine Chats with Bildo & Lindalin on your favourite podcast app, follow and subscribe.
And tell us – do you have any embarrassing moments you’d like to get off your chest?
Peace out and remember – don’t be a dick!
Episode #49 of Wine Chats with Bildo & Lindalin was proudly sponsored by Taylors Wines.